Adele Takes a Driving Test

Huzzah! Apparently in England, a cluster of motile lipids and adipose tissue took a driving test and successfully passed.  This mishmash of fatty tissue and remnants of millions of pie-and-chip meals was recognized as the recipient of several Grammy Awards.  This monstrosity is known as Adele.

Now that Adele has her driver’s license, the car she will now drive replaces her former mode of transportation which was laying down on her side and then rolling where she wanted to go.  This mode was flawed, however, because she could only travel successfully if her destination was at the bottom of an inclined plane and she was at the top.  It also posed a danger to unsuspecting passersby who were tragically crushed under the sheer mass of the unstoppable leviathan.  Now Adele can travel without massacring innocent pedestrians and animals.

The best part of this story was the fact that Adele’s driving instructor had no idea who she was and, even as Adele began to bray and groan in the form of song during the exam itself, the instructor had no idea who she was.  As far as the instructor was concerned, Adele was essentially unremarkable.  I’ve never met this man, but I already know that he and I share this point of view.

It must have been a  proverbial slice of (much needed) humble pie for Adele.  She happily accepted it, though;  she never turns down pie.

Congrats on your driving test, Adele! Make sure the suspension on your vehicle is top of the line and put some high quality shocks on it so the vehicle can support your tonnage.

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