Monthly Archives: October 2013

Pink’s Daughter on the BMX Trail

It’s no secret that I think that Pink (nee Alecia Moore) is one talented woman.  Therefore, perhaps you’ll think that I am biased when I defend Pink.  Perhaps you’ll disgustedly throw down your laptop never to open it again. I make no apologies.  Your reactions are your own.  I personally think that Pink deserves a person to stand up and say something.  Does she need me to fight her battles?  Of course not.  But I would be remiss if I didn’t speak up for an artist I care about.

So Pink’s husband (a former PROFESSIONAL BMX RIDER) put their two-year-old on a bike.  So the hell what?  This is now what deserves criticism?  This is what draws your ire?  Do you know how many people in the South probably put guns in the hands of their toddlers?  Way too many.

I say, at least Pink and her husband and child were having a family moment.  Children who come from affluent backgrounds are too often raised by nannies, mannies or (God help us) “family  assistants”. (You know my feelings on that)  Moreover, who better to teach their daughter about bikes than a former PROFESSIONAL BMX RIDER?!  Do you know how many intellectually deficient fathers are out there trotting their little, undersized, sons out onto the football field having never set foot in a full-contact football game in the hopes of capturing some half-cocked dream of athletic glory they failed to attain during their squalid and meaningless youth? Again, way too many.  But no one gets pissed off about that.  The only reason anyone is getting pissy is due to the fact that one of Pink’s twitter followers wants to break out of the dull, pathetic, pointless existence that they plod along daily in, mired in a morass of anonymity, by coming up with some snarky comment that gets retweeted.  Such is the culture of America, these days.

One more thing before I release you on your own recognizance; if you really want to pick on a singer, why does it have to be Pink?  Why does it have to be one of the few singers who are really talented?  Exercise your right to free speech and use your pseudo-intellectual tweets to assail a celebrity who, in my opinion, deserves it like a Miley Cyrus or a Katy Perry or a  Jay-Z.

To paraphrase the artist in question, anyone who has a problem with Pink can blow me. . .one last kiss, that is.

Advertisements

Chris Brown Arrested Again

Alleged entertainer Chris Brown was arrested yet again for letting his fists fly.

How many more chances to screw up is this idiot going to get?  Chris Brown is, and always will be, a woman-beating slime.  There is no such thing as someone who “used to” hit women but doesn’t anymore.  A leopard doesn’t change its spots.  Hit a woman, go to prison.  That’s how it should be.

He got off scot-free for what he did to Rihanna.  Let’s hope this bastard’s luck has run out and he heads to a prison cell where he belongs.  Let’s also hope we no longer have to endure his auto tune garbage anymore in light of this.  Technically, he won’t be punished for the Rihanna incident. However, seeing him get a long stretch for this will be poetic justice for Rihanna, in my opinion.

I don’t think Robin Roberts will be back to interview him after this one.


Melissa Etheridge-“I’m the Only One”-1993

When I hear this song, I am reminded of the old adage: “Often imitated, never duplicated.”  Many people have covered this song but, as far as I’m concerned, all who have covered it have failed to capture the essence of it.  It is one thing to emulate the lyrics of the song, but it is quite another to sing with the passion and the pain that Melissa Etheridge and her trademark raspy voice sings with.

If I had to pick a soundtrack for 1993, I would definitely choose this song to be on the track list.  I can remember this song all over the radio that year and it is something I associate most with the times back then.

This piece is from the album of the same year “Yes I Am” (No doubt answering people who were asking if Melissa Etheridge is a Lesbian.)  Some might argue that “Come to my Window” was the best piece on this album.  I would submit that “Yes I Am” (the song) is the best song of the album and that “Come to my Window” was the catchy one.  However, if you’re asking me to pick the best Melissa Etheridge song, “I’m the Only One” wins heartily since it is a showcase of the artist’s ability to bare her should to her listeners instead of writing a song that she thinks will sell.

Many of the songs on “Yes I Am” (album) are constructed in much the same way as “I’m the Only One”  and, for this reason, I regard this album as Etheridge’s magnum opus.


Adele Takes a Driving Test

Huzzah! Apparently in England, a cluster of motile lipids and adipose tissue took a driving test and successfully passed.  This mishmash of fatty tissue and remnants of millions of pie-and-chip meals was recognized as the recipient of several Grammy Awards.  This monstrosity is known as Adele.

Now that Adele has her driver’s license, the car she will now drive replaces her former mode of transportation which was laying down on her side and then rolling where she wanted to go.  This mode was flawed, however, because she could only travel successfully if her destination was at the bottom of an inclined plane and she was at the top.  It also posed a danger to unsuspecting passersby who were tragically crushed under the sheer mass of the unstoppable leviathan.  Now Adele can travel without massacring innocent pedestrians and animals.

The best part of this story was the fact that Adele’s driving instructor had no idea who she was and, even as Adele began to bray and groan in the form of song during the exam itself, the instructor had no idea who she was.  As far as the instructor was concerned, Adele was essentially unremarkable.  I’ve never met this man, but I already know that he and I share this point of view.

It must have been a  proverbial slice of (much needed) humble pie for Adele.  She happily accepted it, though;  she never turns down pie.

Congrats on your driving test, Adele! Make sure the suspension on your vehicle is top of the line and put some high quality shocks on it so the vehicle can support your tonnage.


Open Letter to Sinead O’Connor: Grow Some Hair and Shut Up

Dear Sinead O’Connor:

 

I read your “open letter” to Miley Cyrus so I thought that I would provide you with an open letter of my own.  You don’t know me and probably don’t give a flying Guinness what I think. Such is the Internet, however, so here goes anyway.

It is no secret that I cannot stand Miley Cyrus, either.  She is a talentless hack who only got famous because of her daddy’s Achy Breaky Heart which allowed her to get the Hannah Montana gig.  Nepotism at its finest. Nothing new in Hollywood, though.  Just look at Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, and Angelina Jolie.

However, you need to realize just how suspect you come across when you, who have no career to speak of at the moment, decide to comment on something that is currently lighting up the topical meter like Times Square in December in an apparent attempt to draw attention to yourself.  I’m willing to bet that, in the next few weeks, we’ll hear about some project of yours that is going to be released.  Maybe a new album, a memoir, a podcast, a depilatory cream, an alopecia drug with your name on it. Whatever it is, the timing of this moral soapbox you’re on about Miley Cyrus being “pimped” and the release of the project will be quite convenient.

Miley Cyrus is now an adult; legally, anyway, emotionally is another story.  However, for the purposes of her behavior (though not alcohol consumption at least for another year) she is free to do as she pleases.  She is a free citizen of the U.S.  You remember what it was like to be an impulsive young woman, don’t you?  Weren’t you the one who shaved your head to draw attention to “the troubles” as they’re known where you’re from?  Commenting on someone else’s ploy for attention is hypocritical given your past, is it not?

I am not some Miley Cyrus apologist.  In fact, In a recent post, I called her garbage.  I stand by this.  However, your commenting on her is hypocritical and just another head-shaving stunt, in my opinion.