Weighing In: National Anthem Performances for AFC and NFC Title Games

I’ve never understood the need for the National Anthem at sporting events. Sports and politics are two separate things and should stay that way in my opinion. Does the Speaker of the House yell out a chant for his or her favorite sports team before starting a Congress session? A resounding NO! Anyway, assuming you care, here are my impressions, feelings, emanations, rumblings and mishmash of psychobabble about the respective performances from today’s NFC and AFC Championship games.

AFC-Steven Tyler was just. . .wow and yikes are words that come to mind. I was not thinking of the USA as I watched him caterwaul and miss notes left and right, I was thinking of the hirsute Paula Cole’s “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?” Not since watching the film “Marathon Man” have I cringed at such a disturbing and unsettling sight unfold before me on my television screen. Seeing Steven Tyler, who looked very “geriatric” during that performance, was just plain sad. I can’t believe he is now JUDGING people on American Idol for their (lack of) talent. Granted, Steven Tyler has quite a bit of sweat equity but still, at today’s AFC title game, Steven Tyler’s performance showed that he is aging about as well as mayonnaise in the sun. I guess he should “dream on” if he thinks he’ll be asked to do that again! Ha ha ha . . .aaaah my side hurts. . .

NFC-Kristin Chenoweth’s performance was passable. Gee, the game was on Fox and she just happens to be on Fox’s shit. . er I mean hit show, “Glee.” I wonder how that happened. . . Sarcasm aside, her singing voice belies the annoying, high pitched, speaking voice she was cursed with even her falsetto is having an identity crisis and really wants to be a soprano. However, the grotesque, likely surgically-altered appearance made her look more like a some kind of a possessed Barbie doll that has come to life through some unholy supernatural force which totally overshadowed her performance.

Regardless of how sheepish these two performers are about their national anthem fails, I’m sure they still feel great compared to how Bill Cundiff must feel right now.

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2 responses to “Weighing In: National Anthem Performances for AFC and NFC Title Games

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